Not every guy is a veritable Casanova, ready to fire into engaging, longstanding conversation with any girl who might come his way. Breaking the ice can be an incredibly difficult task in itself, never mind continuing on from that point.
There’s no shame in it, most of us flounder when it comes to keeping up interesting conversation – which isn’t because you, as a person aren’t interesting, but more because online dating outlets such as Tinder are very fast paced and unforgiving if things aren’t kept exciting at all times.
Worry not, though. We’ve got the ultimate idiot’s guide to starting conversations on Tinder.
Working on ‘you’ before you begin
Bear in mind that anybody you begin a conversation with on Tinder has already seen your profile, your photo, your tagline and your bio (although, most probably just your photo) and decided that they’re interested in you. That should be enough to get you raring to go and full of confidence already, shouldn’t it?
When you get to that point of being matched with someone you already thought was sexy, keep it in mind that they think you’re sexy too – even if they want to play it cool, and act coy, it is what they were thinking. So go in with confidence, and the self-assertion that you deserve to be having this conversation with this girl.
The best place to start is in many different places at once
The best tip to starting conversations on Tinder is not to put all your eggs in one basket. Start as many different conversations as you can – or as many as you can deal with at the one time – to maximise your chances of success. The truth is, not everyone will always reply to you, which could be down to how you opened (more on that in a minute) or, unfortunately, because they accidentally matched with you instead of passing by your profile.
If it’s the latter – don’t let it get you down. It happens to everyone, and you’ve probably done it yourself. Just pick yourself up and keep looking.
Opening up the conversation
When you want to begin some successful conversations on Tinder, you really need to put the heavy lifting in. Some girls will be entertained by a tried and tested, classic opening pickup line (something like ‘Tinder is a game, and it looks like we’re both winners’). If that’s the case, then count your lucky stars, you’ve found yourself a peach.
But most of the time, you’ll need to do better than that. So make sure your opening line is something sharp, fresh, and clever. To do this, take a look at her name, her profile, her photos etc. and think of something interesting to say about them, setting yourself away from the rest of the guys a little.
That being said, there are few more solid ways of starting conversations on Tinder than hitting her with a good joke. Make sure to check out some of our other guides on Tinder openers if you still need some advice on this matter.
How to keep the conversation going beyond that first step
Now, believe it or not, here’s the easy part. It might seem like keeping the momentum going is the most difficult section, but it’s really not if you actually just listen to what she says. Tough task, huh?
Talking on Tinder is no different than talking in real life… Well, it’s a little different, but you get the drift. Just make sure to ask her lots of questions about herself, her personality, her life in general to show an active interest in her as a person, and then respond accordingly with interesting comments or anecdotes.
Too many guys falter in this stage by trying to be constantly funny, or interesting by overdoing it or overthinking their responses. Just keep it simple. You’ll be surprised how easy it is to keep a conversation going.
Be honest about what you want
This applies to both you and her – as long as you know what you’re looking for from the conversation (is it a quick lay, or something a bit more involved?) it’ll be much easier to keep the conversation going in that direction.
It’ll also be clear to her and she’ll respond accordingly. Much easier than trying to guess at it.
There’s no reason for starting conversations on Tinder to be a cause for concern or worry. Just follow these tips and ease yourself into it and you’ll see instant results!