Click here to see Rachel PT 1
Click here to see Rachel PT 2
The actual system of Tinder can be kind of counterintuitive at times. You make a quick decision on a person based upon their profile photo. Whether you find them attractive or not, everyone else does the same with yours – therefore if you land a match with someone, that should be it, right? Badabing! You both like each other, so what’s the fuss?
Unfortunately, most of the time, that’s not the case. There’s still a lot of time to invest in the process and lots of errors to be made along the way – and the main ground on which to make your play is the conversation itself – so here’s our ultimate guide to good, successful and interesting Tinder conversations.
First step – the profile
The first step is a pre-emptive one, before you even get to the stage of engaging this lucky, or unlucky, woman in a conversation you need to ensure your profile is optimized for success. When you log onto Tinder, you’ll be flooded with pictures of women who you either find hot or don’t, and that’s that. The counter side, though, is that almost all of these attractive women will have had offers from just about every guy who flicks by their photo.
So when she reciprocates and finds a match – she’ll be sorting through the guys’ profiles as well as their conversation to weed out the crap from the good.
To give yourself a better chance in the first place, make sure to choose five good photos from your Facebook profile; this means no stupid photos of you, shirtless, at the gym; no obviously Photoshopped selfies; and no photos of you with a bunch of chicks. Try and portray a casual, handsome, trustworthy look.
Keep your interests and tagline short and snappy. Don’t overload with information, because the simple fact is; most of these women won’t care.
So you’ve made it beyond the first trials, and now you’re into the semi-finals… the conversation with your match. What do you do to keep it fresh, alive and progressive?
You need a good opener. Don’t shy away from a pickup line, just because everyone else uses them. Many good Tinder conversations can start with a well thought out, personalised pick up line – so try and avoid some of the more obvious, pre-packaged ones and think of something personal and different. Quickly look at her interests and photos and try to keep it relevant from there.
Once you’ve got the ball rolling, it’s up to you keep things interesting and keep your match interested. The best advice in this regard is to not assume that everyone on the app is looking for a straight up one night stand with no ‘getting to know’ portion (unless their profile says so), so don’t always start with something physical and don’t be tempted to fly straight into hardcore flirtation off the bat; play it by ear, though admittedly, sometimes this can also be the best method.
Great Tinder conversations rely heavily on the continued interest of both parties so ask her lots of questions about herself, her personality, her interests and so on – not only does this show you have an interest in her as a person, but you’ll be surprised by how many other guys don’t bother with this step in the first place, so it’ll instantly set you apart from the rest.
Try and get an alternative method of messaging
Remember that the Tinder environment is one of competition, the longer you keep your conversation going in that harsh arena, the longer you’ll be pitted against other guys (and you can bet your life that they’re trying just as hard as you, if not harder to win the affections of this match).
If the conversation is going well enough, prompt her for her mobile number, or offer your own – so you can begin texting and starting a more personal conversation, in a more relaxed place. Others try for Facebook messaging, which can work just as well, but seems a bit less urgent than the traditional text message.
That’s it really – sure Tinder conversations can be a complete minefield, and they’re quite a different beast from some other online dating formulas, but so long as you try to avoid some of the common pitfalls of chatting up your match, and show a genuine interest (or at least appear genuine), you’ll be well on your way to a great conversation and hopefully more. That being said, sometimes you’ll land a woman who wants to get things moving straight away – and that can be a gift from the heavens above.